Once Fallen
"Through Knowledge and Wisdom Shall We Rise From The Ashes"
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ONCE FALLEN

Reflections on Seven Years as a Registered Sex Offender

BY: DEREK “THE FALLEN ONE” LOGUE

Proposal Table of Contents

  • Concept, Style, and Marketing Outline
  • Once Fallen Table of Contents
  • Once Fallen Annotated Table of Contents
  • Introduction to Once Fallen Part 1: A Once Fallen Hope
  • Chapter 1: Excerpts from “Awakening”
  • Introduction to Once Fallen Part 2: Addressing Errors and Raising Objections to Sex Offender
    Legislation (“The AEROSOL Report”)
  • Chapter 10: Excerpts from “The Root of the Problem”


ONCE FALLEN

Overview

       When Patty Wetterling first proposed a sex offender registry in 1990, she was told it couldn’t be
done because sex offenders have rights; nearly twenty years later, public sentiment has changed. Sex
offenders have become the pariahs of our society. A series of increasingly restrictive laws have been
implemented in response to a few high profile cases of murdered children. Often times, these laws are
passed with little or no thought of the consequences of passing legislation which creates a degraded
class of individuals.
       With over 600,000 registered sex offenders in the United States, the issue of how to deal with
former offenders who have served their time and have been released has become a hot topic. For
nearly a decade following the passage of Megan’s Law in 1996, sex offender laws were met with little to
no resistance. This culminated with the passage of the “Adam Walsh Child Safety Act of 2007,” a
national standard for sex offender laws with provisions for a national registry, mandatory minimum
sentences, civil commitment, and GPS devices. However, there is growing evidence these well-
intentioned laws do not work. In addition, former proponents of sex offender legislation are beginning to
question the laws, if not denounce it outright.
       Society has an unhealthy obsession with the registered sex offender; because of this obsession,
we have neglected prevention and rehabilitation efforts. Never has the old adage “an ounce of
prevention is worth a pound of cure” than in the realm of preventing sexual violence, yet a number of
solutions and alternatives are ignored in favor of popular legislation designed to punish an individual of
a sex offense far beyond his sentence. Mounting evidence, however, is calling for a change to the
current state of sex offender legislation.

The Style

       Once Fallen is a thought-provoking look into the practice of sex offender legislation from the
standpoint of one who has both researched the subject thoroughly and has experienced the practical
effects of the law. Few people have thought about the consequences of passing sex offender legislation.
Once Fallen stands alone as an account of the fallacies of legislation based on emotion rather than fact.
       Once Fallen is unique because it is a memoir and a scholarly work, a biography and a thesis, and
an eyewitness testimony and expert testimony. Through this dual expertise, Once Fallen offers a story
unlike any scholarly (and costly) work available on the market today. Once Fallen also presents the topic
neglected in the vast majority of discussions regarding sex crimes: prevention, rehabilitation, and
accountability.

The Format

       Once Fallen is a two unit book totaling around 200 pages when converted into a single-spaced, 6 x
9 inch format. The first part Once Fallen, “A Once Fallen Hope,” is the “eyewitness account,” my
personal journey from the time of my arrest to my bid for a pardon in the spring of 2007. In this part, I
describe coming to terms with the crime I committed, how I have struggled to live life on the outside of
the prison bars and under the increasingly restrictive laws, and my quest to bury this stigma placed upon
me. This testimony sets the tone for my expert testimony in part two of  Once Fallen: the “AEROSOL
Report-- Addressing Errors and Raising Objections to Sex Offender Legislation.” Many politicians, like
an aerosol spray, have spouted myths and propaganda while passing laws contrary to the suggestions
of the very reports of their own commission (“Don’t confuse me with facts”). The AEROSOL report
dispels the myths, presents the facts in a clear and concise manner, and most importantly, to offer
solutions to the sex crime problem.
       I created an advisory committee to address accuracy, ethical, and readability issues with this
landmark book. While the ultimate responsibility (and final editing) of the content of Once Fallen rests
upon my shoulders, the Advisory Committee was an integral part of ensuring the book would be well
received by the general public. The five member committee has varying degrees of expertise into the
field of social work, psychology, law, and/ or sex offender issues:

1.        A Christian Counselor working with sex addicts in a large church,
2.        A freelance journalist and sex offender advocate,
3.        A Sex offender advocate and legal researcher,
4.        A mental health counselor in a local rehabilitation center, and
5.        A university student majoring in Social Work.

       In addition, a number of top researchers were contacted for advice and use of their research
materials. These factors have come together to create this one-of-a-kind project.

The Competition

       Once Fallen may be the first book of its kind. Because current sex offender legislation is a recent
phenomenon, the few existing works are also relatively new. The few books on the subject are textbooks,
with the exception of the book “Failure to Protect” by Eric S. Janus, a law professor, and “Preventing
Sexual Violence” by John Q. La Fond, of the American Psychological Association. These are great
works, but they are also scholarly works (not to mention hard to find). Once Fallen separates from
scholarly works by offering a detailed personal story which gives the work a unique perspective missing
from scholarly and factual journals.

Markets

       The time is nigh for Once Fallen, as the tide of public opinion is slowly turning. Patty Wetterling,
whose efforts created the first sex offender registry, now calls to reform these laws that are doing “more
harm than good.” States are considering taking a 10% cut in JAG funding than spend millions of dollars
implementing the Walsh Act. Iowa prosecutors and police are calling upon the legislators to repeal that
state’s 2000 foot residency restrictions. Protests have taken place in Florida, Ohio, and California on the
inhumane treatment of former offenders, and online movements bravely endure harassment to spread
the truth about sex offender laws. Now, more than ever, people are seeking a feasible solution to the sex
crime issue. Though the work is sure to be controversial, partially because of the subject matter and
partially because of the author, Once Fallen will stand apart as an authority on sex offender legislation.
       People on both sides of the issue will be interested in this book. Sex offenders will look for hope
and answers to life after prison, while proponents will express interest in debating the truths Once Fallen
professes. I have heard it said, “If sex sells, then sex offenders sell more.” Once Fallen is the epitome of
this view. Experts and laymen alike will gain much from Once Fallen.

Author Bio

       Derek Logue, known online as “The Fallen One,” is a registered sex offender residing in Cincinnati,
Ohio. He was convicted of making sexual contact with an 11 year old girl in 2001, spent 3 years in prison
in Alabama, and has been free since 2003. Since that time, he has not re-offended, despite
homelessness, civil eviction, and constant discrimination.
       For the past 2 years Derek has become actively involved in sex offender advocacy. He was a
regular poster at www.sexcriminals.com and a number of other forums under the screen name “The
Fallen One.” He is in the process of forming an organization called Sex Offenders Pursuing Healing In
Adversity (SOPHIA), a faith-based initiative to help sex offenders overcome adversity as they reintegrate
into society. I have been active in Cincinnati fighting sex offender laws; he fought two court cases on sex
offender laws, even presenting my own defense in one of the cases; he fought Cincinnati City Council on
an increase on residency restrictions in December 2006, landing him on the local news; I was in the
Cincinnati Enquirer in July 2007, along with a video clip on their website- “Sex Offender Speaks;” and
received a partial pardon from the State of Alabama in May 2007. He also launched the site www.
oncefallen.com in December 2007, a legal and statistical information site with over 1,000 visitors
monthly.
       Derek holds a Bachelor's Degree in Justice Studies from Athens State University in Athens,
Alabama (1999), with a minor in behavioral sciences; he also received extensive training in Catholic
Studies and sex offender programming during his stay at the Bullock County Correctional Facility in
Union Springs, Alabama.

Time Frame

       Once Fallen version 2 was fully revised on June 30, 2008, and is ready for immediate release!

ONCE FALLEN ANNOTATED TABLE OF CONTENTS

Part I: A Once Fallen Hope (The story)

  • Chapter 1: Awakening -- The initial shock of my incarceration and the fear of my unknown future
    leads to my “day of awakening,” yet still I hold onto the beliefs which brought me to the cell to
    begin with. Does it really take such a fall for a man to open his eyes? With many of my initial fears
    unfounded, I turned my attentions to the real problem- myself.

  • Chapter 2: Dark Night of the Soul -- Like St. John of the Cross, it felt like the entire world has
    abandoned me. Even harder was that moment when I had to come face to face with my own dark
    side and destroy him once and for all. Through this “dark night of the soul,” I would conquer the
    greatest of enemies. By comparison, the challenges that lay ahead pale in comparison to the fight
    over my own soul.

  • Chapter 3: Trial by Ordeals -- My first taste of freedom came with a unique set of challenges. I
    found myself in a church group home with a rather controversial reputation. Though I tried and
    failed at many of the tasks laid before me, I found this ordeal integral to my future success as an
    advocate in a controversial field in its own right.

  • Chapter 4: Finding My Way -- At long last, it was time for me to spread my wings and fly on my
    own.  Actually, it was more like hobble out on my own, as I spent my first few months of freedom
    devoid of a home. If there is any good from being at the rock bottom, it is that there is only one
    direction to go and that was up. Slowly but surely, I pieced some semblance of a “normal life” over
    time-- a job, a girlfriend, a bank account, and even a credit card! Of course, it is easier to learn
    never to take things for granted when you are stripped of everything you once held dear. I finally
    became aware I was not who I once was.
       
  • Chapter 5: Trial By Fire -- Just when it seems like all the pieces were falling into place, someone
    comes to take it all away from me. The Lord giveth, and the state of Ohio comes to taketh away. It
    is easier to fight when your life depends on it, and a desperate animal is not one to be taken
    lightly. The ensuing legal war against the state over my classification and my right to reside in my
    cheap hovel may have ended in my defeat, but the state found this animal to be more lion than
    lamb. They cost me everything I worked hard to achieve. This was getting personal.

  • Chapter 6: Burying the Past -- Finally the opportunity to bury the past arose from a well-earned
    vacation. Never was there a more awkward moment than to talk with those ghosts of a past better
    forgotten. “I'm too far gone,” I said. What else can I say? I can't undo what is done, nor can things
    be the way they were before. Believe me, I've tried to relive the past with the one I loved more
    than life itself. But we cannot live in the past, we can only live for today and hope for tomorrow.

  • Chapter 7: Fighting Goliath -- I barely had time to settle into a new apartment when I saw the
    headline on the Midday News-- Cincinnati proposes tougher restrictions on sex offenders. I
    grabbed my mother and camcorder and made my way to city hall. A dozen sex offenders in the
    audience, yet only I spoke out against this abomination. The reporter who shook my hand said
    “You've got guts;” one of the councilmen said I had some “audacity.” Thankfully, no one said I had
    a face for radio. If I didn't believe that one man can make a difference, I became a believer when I
    saw the tide of public opinion change before my eyes. I would like to think I played a part in the
    council softening the law. A partial victory is a start!

  • Chapter 8: Pardon Me -- I have a chance to become “normal” again. A three-judge panel
    decides my fate, but the law ties their hands as I still have a few obligations left before I can be
    free of these shackles. A partial pardon is at least a step in the right direction.

  • Chapter 9: Phoenix -- After seven years, I have changed from a “shadow hawk” to a “fallen one,”
    and from a “fallen one” to a “Phoenix.” No matter how many times I was reduced to ashes, I was
    born anew, and each time stronger than ever. I began as a child and through the fire I became a
    man.

Part II: The AEROSOL Report (Addressing Errors and Raising Objections to Sex Offender
Legislation)

  • Chapter 10: The Root of the Problem -- The root causes of sexual violence are complex; there
    are no “cookie cutter” sex offenders. That being said, there are strategies to reduce the
    prevalence of sexual crimes in America. However, we must admit the things we don't want to hear,
    such as how our contrary approach to sexuality, namely, our simultaneous glorifying sex in the
    media while treating sex as taboo, is exacerbating the sex problem, especially among our youth. If
    we are serious about preventing sexual violence, we must broaden our approach to the problem,
    expanding that focus on the sex offender to the myriad of internal and external factors that play a
    role in the commission of sex crimes in the first place. Also we must teach people to be
    responsible for their sexual behavior. Only by emphasizing prevention can we have any hope of
    reducing sex crimes.

  • Chapter 11: Monsters, Inc.- Creating Sex Offender Myths -- Sex offender laws were based
    on a number of mantras, myths, misconceptions, and mistruths, all of which have little to no basis
    in fact. These myths have led to a number of disastrous consequences, such as harsh penalties
    and vigilante violence.

  • Chapter 12: The New “Ministry of Propaganda” -- There are a number of high profile
    individuals who have pushed for harsher penalties against former offenders, some of whom fell
    prey to the same sins they were trying to prevent. Sex offenders generate votes and television
    ratings, turning sex offenders into a major industry. Unfortunately, this industry creates a major
    obstacle to prevention of sex crimes and may actually exacerbate the prevalence of sexual
    violence in our society.

  • Chapter 13: Scarlet Letters and Pink Triangles- The Shame Game -- The downward spiral of
    sex offender laws began with registration and community notification laws, or “Megan's Law.”
    Despite a few successful legal challenges, a number of acts of vigilante violence attributed to the
    registry, and the high probability of misuse of the registry, the registry is still and place, and has
    even spread to other offenders and even proposed for AIDS patients. However, due to the sheer
    number of sex offenders already on the registry, proposals have been made to make the stigma
    more visible, such as on license plates and ID cards. It will be only a matter of time before this
    trend progresses towards a scarlet M or the pink triangle.

  • Chapter 14: Banishment by Attrition- Residency Restrictions for Sex Offenders -- The
    harshest of sex offender “regulation,” residency restrictions can best be described as implicit
    banishment or “banishment by attrition.” With few places for sex offenders to live, these laws have
    led to clustering, homelessness, and missing sex offenders, thus effectively compromising the sex
    offender registries. Yet ironically, they are the most popular laws in place; as a result, these
    demons have become difficult to exorcise. Sex offender laws hide behind the guise of being “civil
    and regulatory” rather than “criminal and punitive;” by being civil in nature, these laws by-pass all
    those pesky constitutional rights, like protection from cruel and unusual punishment, due process,
    ex post facto, and equal protection under the law. The key to fighting this demon begins with the
    argument as to whether sex offender laws are civil or criminal, regulatory or punitive.

  • Chapter 15: Pulp Classi-fiction (Sexual “Predator” Laws) -- We don't want to admit it, but we
    cannot predict human behavior. The sexual predator laws try to do just that- predicting which sex
    offender is more likely to re-offend. The experts err on the side of caution, over-assessing risk of
    individual sex offenders, ignoring factors that lower the offender's risk level, while
    overemphasizing the “high-risk” factors. The result is a rather large subgroup within an already
    stigmatized group subject to a greater number of restrictions. This focus on the sexual predator
    has led to a number of even harsher proposals, particularly castration and the death penalty.

  • Chapter 16: The Fourth Reich? -- There is a definite danger in allowing sex offenders to be
    placed into the degraded status in this country. By doing so we are in danger of opening a
    Pandora’s Box of potential problems such as allowing our government to take away liberties that
    can extend to other groups. As the trend continues, it could be possible for the government to
    deprive liberties based upon thought or suspicion alone!

  • Epilogue: The Ameri-CON Way -- The trend is slowly turning away from the “get-tough-on-sex-
    offenders” approach as the myriad of negative consequences have become clearer. The goal is
    not tougher but smarter. We must attack the root causes, implement successful treatment
    strategies, and find the balance between individual rights and public safety. We must abandon
    widely-held myths, tackle the taboos, and have honest discussion about the nature of sexuality
    with an emphasis on prevention and personal responsibility if you are to have any hope of
    reducing sexual violence in America.

Introduction: Fallen hope?

       I was born as Derek Logue on a cold Chesapeake night in October 1976, and died on an equally
cold night on February 20, 2000. I merely died in a figurative sense; in the dark of night, I was taken
from my bed, arrested, and charged with a sex crime. Like the chapters of a book, every major milestone
in closes an old chapter of a person’s life and lays the foundation for a new journey to come. For some,
that milestone is a marriage, a career, dedicating your life to your God or faith, or a major achievement.
Every milestone comes with a title, a definition of your life, a second name. Sadly, the milestone that
defines my life in the eyes of society is a single regrettable event with a terrible consequence, a criminal
act. The title that defines my “second life” is three simple words:

REGISTERED SEX OFFENDER

       Perhaps no other label in our society elicits as much raw emotion as the label, “registered sex
offender.” This label evokes images of dirty old men waving candy at little girls to entice them into their
cars for sexual pleasure, or the brutal rape-murder of a beautiful, innocent, smiling child. This label
carries with it a “social death sentence;” sex offenders considered are the scourge of society, deserving
of death, castration, concentration camps, and torture. Laws passed specifically against sex offenders
reflect this culture of fear and loathing. There are laws placing us on public registries and cards
disclosing our stigma to our neighbors; laws restrict where we live, work, or hang out; laws keep us
incarcerated past our sentences, castrate us, and execute us, all in the name of “public safety.” Each
new proposal creates a new punishment or expands an existing law, and passes legislature without a
second thought, much to the delight of a society seemingly intent on punishment as much, if not more,
as public safety. With this label comes the myriad of myths and misconceptions about who I am; society
sees me as an untreatable pedophile ready to snatch a child at a moment’s notice. I can even say with
confidence many will read this book with the feeling I’m either getting my just desserts or I’m not being
punished enough. There is little understanding, and even less sympathy. Without a doubt, sex offenders
are the modern-day lepers of society.
       During this new life of seven years, I have sought the answer to a number of questions. Once a
person has fallen from grace, is there ever any hope of reclaiming his lost life? Can a man overcome his
past, or his stigma? If life without love can never be whole, when what is life without hope? I have
contemplated what it takes for a person to reach the proverbial point of no return. Many times over the
years I have teetered on the edge of this point, even seeking the end of my life. After all, at least by my
death, I would make people happy.
       However, in the past seven years of this second life I found not only the answers I sought, but a
purpose and a reason to justify living out this second life. To find my answers, I had to experience the
totality of my punishment, face my inner demons, and find my place in a society that would rather my
body buried than my past. From the day of my arrest to the last letter typed in this book and beyond, I
have continued this second life. This body is the same, this birth name is the same, and the events of
my first life are a permanent, unchangeable history. But my soul, the person I really am, has changed
considerably over the years. I grew from a fearful, immature and selfish child in a man’s body to the man
I am today. I have confessed my sins, sought forgiveness, made reparations to the state and the victim’s
family, and stood up for my right to reintegrate into society, all things the old me could never do. I am no
longer afraid to admit I made a terrible mistake while simultaneously question or protest laws that do
nothing to protect children from sexual violence.
       Virtually everyone seeks the meaning of life; for me, finding common ground between the two sides
of this issue is my purpose. In a way it is penance and soul-searching, but more importantly, my purpose
is to seek the answers to the root problem of sexual violence. For this reason, I felt the need to write
Once Fallen. Once Fallen is, in part, a chronicle of my second life from the day of my arrest to the fight
to bury the final token of my former life, the record itself, by way of a pardon. But Once Fallen is not
intended to be simply a memoir. I seek to reach both sides of the issue. For the society at large, Once
Fallen stands as a case study of how the popular sex offender laws impact actual human beings. For the
former offender, Once Fallen is a message of hope. Both sides seek knowledge and wisdom to solve the
sexual violence issue, and Once Fallen offers up, at the very least, a guide to help point us all in the
right direction.
       Through many years of personal experience and growth, along with research and education on the
subject, I have acquired a vast amount of knowledge on the subject. Thus, the second part of my book is
a comprehensive analysis of the root causes of sexual violence and the sex offender laws. If society is
serious about preventing sexual violence, we must change our approach to this subject.
       
ROOT CAUSES OF SEXUAL VIOLENCE ARE OFTEN NEGLECTED

       The root causes of criminal sexual behavior is complex and varies from person to person. My
reasons for committing my crime are unique to me. Thus, finding a solution is no small task. However,
there is a common and disturbing trend in our approach to sexual violence. Society has tended to
neglect the root causes of sexual violence. There are a variety of possible reasons why the prevention
model is largely ignored, but the key to prevention lies in addressing certain problems before they
become problems.
       Ironically, before we can even address the root causes of sexual violence, we must shift our
approach to the entire issue in the first place. Beginning in the early 1990s, our focus has been on the
registered sex offender, those people who have been convicted of committing a sex crime. Every sex
offender law passed applies to individuals ex post facto. We have spent billions on registries, GPS
devices, civil commitments, and lawsuits defending these laws. However, programs designed to address
proper and realistic sexual behavior in our society are largely ignored, neglected, and sorely under
funded.
       A significant reason why root causes of sexual violence is largely ignored lies in America’s
obsession with the sex criminal. Virtually every sex offender law in existence has its roots in a
sensationalized “stereotypical kidnapping” that usually ended with the murder of the victim; many of the
laws are even named for a victim which inspired these laws. Virtually every sex crime garners media
attention, and politicians add the obligatory “I’m tough on sex criminals” speech every election year.
Humans tend to be extreme by nature; thus, these reactions are typical. However, emotions often cloud
sound judgment and facts. In order to seek a feasible solution, we must overcome this obsession.

SEX OFFENDER LAWS ARE BASED ON MYTH, NOT FACT

       We know all the myths by heart: sex offenders have a high recidivism rate; sex offenders cannot be
cured; sex offenders are all pedophiles who cannot be cured, etc. However, researchers have found
these myths to be myths. Sadly, few people read research papers; many not in the researchers’ field of  
expertise find research papers dull, wordy, confusing, full of technical jargon, and boring. Thus, their
target audience is often limited to others in the researchers’ own field. Getting a politician or a layman to
read such reports is like getting a child to eat a bowl of plain-Jane Corn Flakes without sugar or a tiger
proclaiming how “g-r-r-reat” they are. A few will consume it, but most would rather trash it than eat it.
       Sex offender laws were created mainly by people with a noble intention in mind, but emotions,
ignorance of the facts, and the human tendency to lean toward extremism hinders the intent of the law.
While the facts are analogous to a plain corn flake, the novel sex offender law is the sugar-laden cereal
with a famous advertising agent in the box. True authorities on the subject, like John Q. La Fond, Lisa
Sample, Eric S. Janus, Jill Levenson, or Corey Rayburn Yung are not household names, while John
Walsh, Mark Lunsford, Maureen Kanka, and Patty Wetterling, among others, have become the
equivalent of the celebrity on the box, and their emotional message is the sugar that disguises the
bitterness of their product.
       However, the tide has been slowly turning slowly but surely. The cereal analogy is appropriate in
many ways, not only in its initial production, but in the change of the product over the years. The formula
for many sugar-laden cereals were changed recently due to concerns that too much sugar and refined
was causing obesity and diabetes; the sugar content was reduced, while more whole grain flour was
added to the formula. Similarly, many people are discovering that these laws are ineffective and rife with
negative consequences. Worse than having virtually no impact on the prevalence of new sex crimes, but
it was actually increasing those factors that increase the likelihood of re-offending! Reforms will be slow
in coming, as those who created these laws are afraid or stubbornly latching on to their failed formula.
Whatever the case, reforms can only occur when we discipline ourselves as we should when dieting,
which means putting away the sweet rationalizations of failed systems, and embracing the healthy
solution we shunned so much in the past.

SEX OFFENDER LAWS: MISSION ACCOMPLISHED?

       If candidly telling my story serves just one purpose, I want you to understand the complexity and
impact of these laws on individuals who have served their time but are bound by these laws. Every day I
wake up wondering whether congress has passed a new law with the latest novel approach to dealing
with registrants or expounding on an existing law. Each law is progressively intruding to the point I
believe we will place “the mark” on our foreheads or right hands. Sex offender laws are a powerful and
dangerous tool, but is also prone to deal unintended consequences. Registries have been used by
individuals targeting sex offenders for vigilantism. Residency restrictions have driven registrants
“underground” or have made them homeless. Various laws have caused registrants to experience
emotional and financial instability, which ironically, increases the likelihood of recidivism.
       While many readers may share the sentiment sex offenders are “getting what they deserve,” there
are far-reaching consequences to allowing these laws continue to exist. These laws have succeeded in
undoing the progress made by the civil rights movement, creating a degraded class of individuals devoid
of many of the same rights and privileges the common folk take for granted. This trend is slowly
spreading to other realms; the reactions to 9-11 is similar in many ways to our reactions on sex offender
laws. In order to combat the perceived threat of terrorism, our government created the Department of
Homeland Security, introduced a color-coded “Terrorism Threat Level,” which has never dropped below
yellow since its conception, passed the so-called “Patriot Act,” which granted our government nearly god-
like abilities to spy on its own citizens. The media was “embedded” in the “war on terrorism” as the US
invaded a country with a weak military and no real proof of “weapons of mass destruction,” toppled a
token bad guy, declared “Mission Accomplished,” and imposed our way of life on a foreign nation. Years
after the mission was *ahem* accomplished, we are sending more troops every month to this nation,
pumping billions into a nation full of valuable resources while running this nation into a debt our
grandchildren will be paying off in their old age. What did we really accomplish (besides angering almost
the entire world)?
       Sex offender laws are similar to the 9-11 laws in many ways. The laws were conceived in fear and
raw emotion, passed and imposed without question or objection, grabbed a great deal of media
attention, and gave society a sense that the mission was accomplished. However, after years of the
proclamation the new regime is the omega factor in the evil they were trying to quell, there has been
either no change, or things have gotten progressively worse. Now America has come under scrutiny for
torturing terror suspects. In the same way, sex offender laws, long considered “civil” and “regulatory,”
are causing such severe reactions they are now being considered “criminal” and “punitive” because they
cause harm to those under the law.
       Looking at recent history, particularly the events of post WW1 Germany, allowing the government
to degrade the status of one unpopular group of individuals opens the door for government to extend
these laws to other groups. Retroactivity, due process, the constitution in  general, are all thrown out for
the sake of “the children” or “public safety.” If even the least of our citizens are degraded, the possibility
of degrading the rights other “threats” to the American way of life is possible. The US Supreme Court
has never formally struck down the Japanese internment camps of WW2. Looking at Nazi Germany,
Hitler began persecuting “asocials” (gays and sexual deviants) and ended with the Jews. Public fear,
ignorance, and loathing justified the horrible atrocities of these concentration camps created for the
sake of “the children” and “public safety,” and America is in serious danger of doing the same.

       If we are looking for a panacea for the prevalence of criminal sexual violence in America, we must
understand what does or does not work. It is my sincerely belief and hope my story and my research
stands as the measure of what has worked, or all to often, what hasn’t work. Only through wisdom and
knowledge shall we rise from the ashes.

Book One: Fallen Hope

       My life is an open book. This story is told through my own eyes, heart, and soul. This is a journey of
personal awakening, tragedy and triumph. Within these pages you shall follow me through seven years
of my life starting from the night of my arrest, chronicling my journey through the darkest depths of the
human heart, whether my own dark side or those of the greater society that would ostracize me. There
are two paths in this journey-- would I remain a “fallen one,” or would I rise from the ashes and spread
my life anew like the Phoenix? Though many obstacles lay ahead, the path I chose to take was my own.

Excerpts from Chapter 1: Awakening

       My first life ended the night of February 20, 2000, a cold but clear winter night. I was awakened by
a flashlight as an officer pulled me out of bed to “take me downtown.” During the short ride to the jail, the
investigator asked me if I knew why they came for me that night. Deep in my heart I knew the reason
why, but I tried my best to play dumb. I responded with a comment about a fight I had been involved in a
few months earlier. At the station, the investigator questioned me about the crime I had committed. I
denied it at first, even feigned surprise at the accusation, but after a few minutes of questioning I
confessed. It felt as if I was watching a movie from a first-person perspective rather than feeling like this
was actually happening. Perhaps it was a way to cope with the scene unfolding before me, or perhaps I
was simply in shock. I felt so detached from myself it was if I had died, at least in a spiritual sense. It is for
this reason I refer to that night as the end of my first life.
       I read a quote from Malcolm X that stated how a man never gets over the prison bars because the
bars burn a permanent mark on a person’s mind for life. I soon learned the meaning of those words as
those bars closed behind me that night. Those bars are unforgiving, indiscriminate, and seemingly
eternal. These bars outlast every coping strategy our mind devises to deal with being trapped within the
confines of the steel cage. Those bars would be my cradle as my second life began, serving as a lasting
monument to a monumental mistake and, ironically, a protective environment for the new life within.
Sometimes it takes an extreme set of circumstances to compel a person to take a harsh look at his inner
self.
       As the initial shock wore off and the harsh reality of my situation set in, I began to worry more about
my physical life than my spiritual life. Prison life abounds with stories about the fate of those accused of
sex crimes in prison. They are called “chicken hawks,” “baby-rapers,” and “child molesters;” sex
offenders are at “the bottom of the food chain;” “Big Bubba” turns sex offenders into “women.”
Information, or at times, “misinformation,” passes quickly through the prison system, ensuring others
know who you are (the rumor that spread about me was I was arrested for sodomizing a 3-year-old boy).
I was placed on suicide watch, but I was still sharing a cell with another prisoner; perhaps the officers
were really more concerned with my death at the hands of another inmate rather than my own hands.
Though many of the inmates were rather nasty towards me at first, I never experienced any actual
violence. In time, I would be treated the same as everyone else. Despite this, I still feared the destiny
awaiting me.
       There are many reasons why so many people “find God” in prison. My reasons were a combination
of fear, boredom, and soul-searching. Christianity can be a shield to hide behind in prison; in fact, a
couple of inmates told me to carry a Bible and say, “Praise the Lord, brother,” when approached in
prison. It can also be a tool to occupy your mind, as Bibles are readily available and there is no shortage
of prison ministries. But far more importantly, Christianity is a message of hope and love to those who
feel neither. A jail cell is the ideal environment for those who weren’t receptive to religion in the past to
receive the Word of God. Throughout my life so many people have reached out to me in the name of
God but I drove them away. Now for admittedly selfish reasons I reached out to the God I had rejected
for so long…
        
       Finally the fated day was upon me, the cold morning of February 6, 2001. I was taken to court that
morning, and something inside me compelled me to give up on the deception. I finally decided to accept
a guilty plea. In retrospect, a plea of six years for a single charge wasn’t much of a plea. To this day, I
can’t tell you why I accepted a plea which was not much less than the maximum sentence. I’d love to be
able to say it was remorse and guilt over my actions, but in reality, I can’t say that. I believe it was a “let’s
just get this over with” mentality. For months I had tried to put up a fight; I tried to fire my court-appointed
attorney, file a petition questioning the conditions of confinement, and even tried a change of venue; all
these petitions were denied. They would not allow me to bond out, represent myself, or plead nolo
contendre. Even if I wasn’t guilty, I would have been railroaded; sadly most people accused of sex crimes
can expect similar treatment by the justice system. Despite this, I remained a man guilty of committing a
sex crime, and the time had come for me to finally accept my fate. In all my experiences throughout this
ordeal, the day I accepted the guilty plea remains the saddest moment of my life. I wanted to finish
myself off, but didn’t have the courage to cut the length of my arm rather merely slashing across it. I
called my ex-mother-in-law and told her the news; later she came to pick up all my belongings as I
prepared for my transfer to prison. Two weeks later, on February 21, 2001, one year after my arrest, I
was transferred to Kilby Correctional Facility for processing.
       Prison processing is likely as close to death as any man in this country would want to be. You are
deprived of every possession you ever had, even your last pair of underwear and your hair (as you are
shaved), strip searched, showered, and your crime publicly exclaimed. I panicked, remembering the
stories about “Bubba,” dropping the soap, and the fate of sex offenders in prison. This landed me in the
psychiatric unit for evaluation. I was placed in a cell with nothing but a rubber mat, a paper gown, and a
roll of toilet paper I used as a pillow. I felt like an animal in a cage; maybe I would have fared better as an
animal. Perhaps the greatest hardship with prison life was learning to adjust to the monotony and the
loss of individuality. In prison you become a number. I was number 215332. And number 215332’s first
night in a state prison was in a cold cell with a rubber mat. By the next morning, the initial shock of my
new environment wore off, and after a brief conversation with the psychologist, I was placed back in the
intake dorm…
       
       Despite having such tools of rehabilitation at my disposal, I would work on many things except
confronting the issues which led me to prison. I was experiencing the feelings common to all inmates;
even among those who seek God, many do not want to admit their own problems, though we are quite
proficient at pointing out others’ faults. I needed a “wake up call,” and prison was the ideal place for that.
Prison doesn’t care that I didn’t want to work all day in the kitchen. The prison psychiatrist wasn’t much
help, either; he said all my problems would be solved if “someone beat your ass one good time.” People
typically go to counselors for help, but for me, it was as much a crutch as it was a sincere desire to seek
help. However, I could not rely on my crutch anymore. Eventually I had to learn to deal with my issues by
facing them rather than running away. The hardest step to make in the path to rehabilitation was the first
step, and the time was finally ripe for my first step.

Once Fallen Part 2

Addressing Errors and Restoring Order to Sex Offender Legislation (“The AEROSOL Report”)
-- Introduction

       In the past decade or so, American society has focused on laws that punish individuals convicted of
sex crimes long beyond prison sentences. It seems with every high profile sex crime (not to mention a
subsequent election period), legislators introduce either new legislation or an expansion of an existing
law. In the decade or so since “Megan’s law” passed, our society has shifted their views from “sex
offender laws are wrong” to “kill all sex offenders/ these laws aren’t doing enough.” Increasingly
debilitating laws are introduced on a regular basis, passed with virtually no opposition, and largely
supported by the general public without even a thought of the consequences. Even in the face of
evidence to the contrary, we continuously push for even more legislation because we feel we “aren’t
doing enough.”
       As a culture, we are seeking to progress rather than regress, and sex offender laws symbolize a
regression. We have reintroduced concepts held in contempt by previous generations:  public
humiliation, a degraded class status, and the incapacitation model of justice. Despite the dangers of this
sentiment, few individuals have spoken out against these laws.
       However, resistance to sex offender legislation is growing. Sex offender laws have been proven to
be “ineffective, inefficient, and counterproductive.” Judges, prosecuting attorneys, sheriff’s offices, and
even child victim advocates have called for wholesale reforms of sex offender laws, and even total
opposition to some of the laws. In 2007, the media has released more reports critical of sex offender
legislation than in any other year since the passage of Megan’s law in 1996.
       All this opposition begs the question: what IS the proper way to prevent sex crimes in America?
American government spends billions on sex offender legislation that have done nothing to address
prevention. Prevention and education programs are limited and are largely forsaken in our society. In
the first half of Once Fallen, I gave my personal story to illustrate how the laws affect the individual sex
offender. One thing I hope you find striking is the freedom I had whether or not to re-offend regardless
of the law. Hopefully this illustration will lead you to question the efficacy of our current laws. The second
half of this book addresses these concerns from an intellectual standpoint. Is there truly a way to
prevent sex crimes? Do these laws impact criminal sexual behavior, or are we merely blowing more air
than an aerosol can? Are these laws causing “more harm than good?” In order for us to find these
answers, we must address the issue as a whole rather than the narrow focus on the former offender.

(Note: Currently I included the references in the work, but as the work is reformatted in final book form,
the references will be transferred to a bibliography)

Excerpts from Chapter 10: The Root of the Problem

       Without a doubt, criminal sexual acts are among the most traumatic and horrifying acts committed
against another human being; in many cases, the repercussions lasts months, years, or even a lifetime.
Sex crimes are more disturbing if a child is involved. As a human being first and foremost, I believe that if
a person commits a sex crime, that person shall be punished with criminal sanctions. As a rehabilitated
sex offender, I believe a person convicted as a sex criminal be held accountable and be taught
responsibility and accountability for their actions, to make amends for transgressions and settle debts
with those hurt by the crime, and fulfill the court-imposed sanctions. As a Christian, I believe forgiveness
does not detract any more from these obligations than King David was in seeking forgiveness for his sin
against Uriah the Hittite.  In no way should sexual abuse and rape be tolerated and go unpunished. In
this sense my views and the views of society meld.
       However, there is a great divide regarding what must be done to reduce the perceived prevalence
of deviant sexual activity. Much of the current sex offender legislation merely punishes an act already
committed. Legislation has done virtually nothing to study the root causes of sex crimes, and even less
to actually address the issues. It leaves little wonder why sex offender legislation has virtually no impact
on actual sex crimes. Thus, my duty as an advocate is to find a solution to the dilemma that finds the
delicate balance between public safety and successful reintegration and rehabilitation of former
offenders. In the spirit of the “ounce of prevention” slogan, I believe any serious discussion of sex crimes
should begin with learning the root causes deviant sexual behavior….

Sexual Responsibility a “Hard Sell”

       Chief researcher Dr. David Finkelhor emphasizes the need for educating our children about proper
sexual behavior, especially in the online era. His concern is that he found most dangerous was the
teenagers were willing to talk about sex online with complete strangers, and going to sex chat rooms and
websites (“kind of behaving in what we call like an internet daredevil”). His conclusion is similar to mine-
educating about the consequences of inappropriate sexual behavior (Dr. David Finkelhor, Internet
Caucus Advisory Committee, 20070503youth, www.escriptionist.com, p. 4-5)

“So for example, we have to educate them about why hooking up with a 32-year-old guy has major
drawbacks like jail, bad press, public embarrassment. We have to educate them about the ploys that
people they’re going to meet online might us to gain their trust. We have to talk to them about why they
should be discouraging rather than patronizing sites and people who are doing offensive things online,
fascinating as that may seem to them” (ibid., p. 5).

       Hopefully by now, after reading my story and seeing how easily even a juvenile can be branded a
sex offender, you will understand why I think it is imperative we teach our children proper sexual
behavior long before they become adults. But as Dr. Finkelhor put it, “…unfortunately, these aren’t easy
sells” (ibid.). Part of the main reason why is the “taboo” stigma surrounding sex talk in general, but in
using the word “sexual responsibility” some people come to the conclusion we are somehow blaming the
victim or removing the concept of accountability and responsibility on the part of the perpetrator. This is
simply untrue.
       I remembered a discussion I had on www.sexcriminals.com regarding dress codes, which led to
some pretty heated arguments. A recent fashion trend involved tight pants with provocative expressions
like “Booty-licious” emblazoned on the buttocks. Immediately I was criticized for bringing it up because
somehow the women on the forum assumed I was implying people who wore such things were “asking to
be sexually assaulted.” That wasn’t the point I was trying to make. However, I did not believe children
should be allowed to wear clothing designed to warrant attention to a sexual part of their bodies. I
believe the aversion is a result of our belief in freedom; simply put, we want freedom to do whatever we
want. However, freedom comes with great responsibility. While it is no less wrong for a criminal to rob a
man with a hundred dollar bill strapped to his chest than if he hid it in his shoe, but common sense would
tell us strapping a hundred dollar bill to your chest is rather irresponsible. Society stresses vigilance, yet
when anyone suggests an act of vigilance that involves a small personal sacrifice, society rebels against
the notion.
       On the other hand, there has been a trend towards “hyper vigilance.” A prime example of hyper
vigilance was a controversial ad campaign for the Virginia Department of Health’s sex abuse hotline. The
ad featured a photo of a man holding a little girl’s hand and the caption, “It doesn’t feel right when I see
them together.” Hundreds of men complained because the ad implied every time you see a father out
with his child, he is likely a sexual predator. The Virginia Department of Health defended the ads, stating
that men are more likely than women to sexually abuse children. The same article reminds us John
Walsh had suggested never hire a male babysitter (Jeff Zaslow, “Moving On: Are We Teaching Our Kids
To Be Fearful of Men?” Wall Street Journal, August 23, 2007).
       Predator panic has diverted us from feasible preventive measures, focusing on released sex
offenders and now men in general. Patty Wetterling of the Jacob Wetterling Foundation (and mother of
the missing child which led to the first sex offender registry in America) has advocated spending more
money on programs working with abused youth and prevent troubled youth from committing the crimes
on the first place. Wetterling found the same results as noted in the Sample and Kadleck study, namely,
legislators were unwilling to read reports and had little knowledge of the nature of sex crimes. Many
legislators have even stated, “don’t confuse me with the facts” (Dan Gunderson, Minnesota Public
Radio, “A better approach to sex offender policy, June 18, 2007, http://minnesota.publicradio.
org/display/web/2007/06/11/sexoffender1/).
       In short, society chooses to hold fast to their preconceived notions about the origins of sex crimes,
while largely ignoring those external root causes we as a society can intervene in and address. This is
significant when you consider the fact that 86% of inmates in prison for committing sex crimes are first
time offenders (US Dept. of Justice, “Sex Inmates In Prison,” 1997). At the least, sex offender laws have
done nothing to address the six of every seven sex offender inmates who are serving a prison sentence
for the first time. When you consider the fact repeat offenders are more likely to be incarcerated than
first time offenders, it is safe to say we are underestimating the amount of sex crimes committed by first
time offenders. Our narrow focus on sex offenders has led to neglect the vast majority of sex crimes
occurring in our society!
       To summarize, I believe any strategy to reduce sex crimes should have prevention as its
foundation. While deviant sexual behavior is a product of varying degrees of internal nature and external
factors, our contrary culture has emphasized the internal factors while simultaneously propagating
external factors which increases the likelihood of deviant sexual behavior. Prevention should start with
teaching sexual responsibility with the same dedication that we teach in operating motor vehicles or
other things that can cause harm when misused or abused. Sadly, since we have neglected to teach
responsible sexual behavior for whatever reason, whether through neglect or an attempt to “shelter“
children from the world, mass media has filled the void, reinforcing faulty beliefs through innuendo while
reducing inhibitions toward responsible sexual behavior. Teaching children sexual responsibility is easier
and superior to a futile attempt at environmental censorship; however, our negative attitude toward even
suggesting the teaching of sexual responsibility constitutes a barrier to prevention. Only by subverting
the current views and trends in our current culture can we have any real hope of reducing and
preventing sex crimes in America.
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