Page Title

Once Fallen
"Through Knowledge and Wisdom Shall We Rise From The Ashes"

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About Me

I am a Registered Sex Offender currently residing in Cincinnati, Ohio. On February 20, 2000
I was arrested in Alabama for making sexual contact (kissing) with an 11-year-old girl I had
known while I was in college (around my 23rd birthday). I plead guilty to one count of 1st
degree sexual abuse and received a six year sentence. I served 3 years at Bullock County
Correctional Facility in Alabama, voluntarily took sex offender treatment sources, and was
released on April 1, 2003.
I moved to Cincinnati because a church home was willing to take me in. After 10 months, I left
but ended up in a homeless shelter for a few months. I found a job and an apartment and lived
day to day until Ohio passed residency restrictions. I faced eviction and an issue over how I
was classified in Ohio (I was listed as level 1"sexually oriented offender" for two years, but
thanks to an interstate records issue, I was bumped up to "sexual predator" status).
Eventually I found a place I could legally live in, but had to fight Cincinnati immediately after
my move because of a proposed restrictions increase. My fight with city hall gained the
attention of the local media, and inspired others to speak out against the ordinance.
Eventually, the city settled on a compromise allowing me to stay in my current residence.
In 2003 I began posting at www.sexcriminals.com under the screen name "fallenone." From
my time as a regular poster there and at www.sohopeful.org, I found my calling as an
advocate for the rights of sex offenders who have paid their debts to society and seek to
rebuild their lives. You will usually find me posting under some variation of the Fallen One
screen name. Until October 2007, I ended my online posts with the phrase, "Life without love
can NEVER be whole," a line from a poem I wrote during my incarceration. Now I use the
SOPHIA motto to better promote the cause.

Some of my key events:

January 19, 2008: Once Fallen Website received 1000th visitor!

December 15, 2007: Joined SO Clear Media

December 1, 2007: Attended the "Silent No More" Rally; passed out data CDs and confronted
counter-protesters, which landed me on the hit list of certain "anti-pedo" sites.

July 23, 2007: Finished first draft of "Once Fallen" book; also, Cincinnati Enquirer interviews
me for article and video "Sex Offender Speaks," available at www.cincinnati.com

May 21, 2007: Received a partial pardon from the state of Alabama

December 5, 2006: Received local media coverage for speaking before city hall protesting
residency restrictions for sex offenders; article in Cincinnati Enquirer next day

August 2006: Argued my own case on residency restrictions (McNeil v. Logue)

April 2004: My debut as an online poster at www.sexcriminals.com

December 1999: Received a Bachelor's degree in Justice Studies at Athens State University
in Alabama.

Questions and Concerns

In light of recent comments and criticisms, a FAQ is necessary. Below are common questions
and comments which I feel must be addressed.

"Why did you commit a sex crime?"

I wish I could give you an easy answer to this question, but there is no way to explain such a
question without sounding like I am justifying, minimizing, or excusing my behavior. I did try
to explain the circumstances surrounding my case during my days as a poster at
www.sexcriminals.com a couple of years ago. The best way I can explain what happened is
from what I learned during my days in treatment. In treatment, you learn about the
deficiencies in your own thought and behavior patterns which lead you to what is referred to
as a "sexual assault cycle." In my case, my key factors was extreme isolation from others, my
inability to connect with others, and my lack of desire to be a responsible adult. This of course,
in no way excuses my actions, but it at least answers the "why." Relapse prevention
involves learning coping and risk management strategies; in my case, keeping myself from
being isolated, learning to interact with society, and to learn to responsibly deal with my
problems myself. Of course, it helps to have a support network of like-minded individuals; I
choose to associate myself only with those with no desire to re-offend. Also, I had to learn how
to be an adult, solving my own problems; to paraphrase St. Paul, "When I was a child, I did
childish things, but now that I'm an adult, its time to put away childish things."

Are you sorry for what you did?

Of course I am! I have worked for years doing penance for my actions, not to satisfy society,
but because of how I feel about what I had done. Once Fallen is part of my penance. However,
my penance is limited to those I personally harmed and my obligations to the State of my
conviction. I do not feel obliged to accept the punishment inflicted by internet trolling and
vigilante groups unworthy of mention here. My obligations are to the victim, her family, the
law, and the state of conviction, and to no one else.

Why do you place yourself in the public eye?

Because until recently, few people were willing to speak out on sex offender issues. Sex crime
hysteria is prevalent in our society, and the result has been a bevy of novel laws and practices
which have done nothing more than fuel the hysteria. Few people are even aware of the
practical effects of these laws, much less care. Part of my intent as an advocate was to stand
as a living example of the effects of these laws. Certain people have accused me of being an
attention-seeker; considering the status of sex offenders in our society, only a glutton for
punishment would want to risk their well-being or their lives to speak out against these
popular sex offender laws. However, I believe in this fight and cause enough to risk my life,
because at this point, my life is all I have left in this world to lose.

Why do you place your personal info on the web?

Because I felt that if I was completely open and honest, my message would reach more
individuals than if I remained anonymous. Part of the problem with this issue is our society
has painted all sex offenders as non-humans, almost mythical beasts, when in fact they are as
human as the rest of society? The internet is full of "anonymous" identities, which to me,
brings out the shadows of a person's soul. I prefer to keep my soul out of the dark as possible,
for better or for worse. If the reader is a sex offender, then I hope to encourage them to tough
it out in dealing with and obeying the laws, help them overcome adversity, and try to become
as productive member of society as possible. If the reader is anti-sex offender, the goal
becomes explaining why there should be great reform to our nation's stance on sex offender
issues. And if you are a cyber-troll (you know who you are), well, I suppose the best I could
hope for is that some of the truths posted here might sink in. I do believe everyone has the
capacity to change their minds and hearts.

My stance on Sex Crimes and "Pedophilia"

I have learned the error of my ways, and it is my sincere hope those who have ever committed
a sex crime has done the same. Sadly, there are a smaller number of the sex offender
population who will inevitably re-offend, though I attest the number is smaller than the media
likes to quote. One of the mantras learned in my college Criminal Justice classes was "about
10% of the criminals commit 90% of the crimes." It would be great if we could separate the
chaff from the wheat, but since society seeks maximum punishment for all offenders equally,
it is difficult to fulfill this need.
However, in stating this, I must clarify the fact that I believe sex crimes should be
punished. If you want more jail time, fine by me. My problem is with the treatment of
offenders after they have finished their sentences. If you commit a sex crime, you should
serve time, whatever the state allots. But if (or when) a sex criminal is released, efforts must
be made to successfully reintegrate the offender back into society to minimize risk of
re-offending. Also, society lacks preventive measures and available counselors to deal with
sexual issues before they become sex crimes. It is not about condoning behaviors, it is about
minimizing risk.

Why write a book?

To accomplish the mission that this website began, namely, to both chronicle one person's
experiences as a sex offender, and to share what I have learned in hopes of offering solutions
to a highly feared issue in our society. Despite the prevalence of web blogs and other media,
the book is still the most respected form of media. It is about the message, not the money. I'd
rather be doing other things to make a living.

Why should I listen to you?

You don't have to listen; if you don't like the message, then you don't need to be here, there
are plenty enough hate-mongering sites available to suit your fancy. However, as part of my
penance, I made it a mission to seek the answers to this sex offender issue. My status as a sex
offender gives me the insight lacking in many of those who work on this issue in one form or
another. It is my hope the message is more important than the messenger, the mission more
important than the missionary.

The Name "Fallen One"

Before my arrest I used the name "shadow hawke," a traditional name created by my ex-wife.
However, the concept of a shadow has a negative connotation with sex offenders, i.e., the
myth sex offenders are "hiding in the shadows." That, plus the fact it was the name given to
me by an ex was plenty enough reason to change names. There is mention of the Nephilim in
Genesis 6, which translates to "fallen one." I understand there is a fairly obscure comic book
character of the same name. But my inspiration came from neither. The name was actually
taken from an attack from end boss Kefka from Final Fantasy 6 which renders your hit points
down to one. The symbol I place at the end of my name is a shortened version of my screen
name, essentially a stylized "F1."